Sunday, March 30, 2008

Analyzing the past

I have never been the type of person that lives in the past, but I am a firm believer that one should learn from their past. So, in that way, I tend to reflect on major occurrences in my life, especially when similar situations surface. I would never change anything good or bad in my past, because it has shaped me into the person I am today. I know that if some of the hard times in my life had never happened, then I would not be the empathetic advocate that has been able to help others along the way.

But, there are other times when I think about the small changes or alterations that could have happened that may have changed the entire course of events. Its like when my dad and grandfather just missed being involved in the bridge collapse in Point Pleasant (shown in the movie "The Mothman Prophecies") because they were running late. Its amazing how one little tweak in a plan can change everything. So, I have been thinking about the thing that feels so right, but is not working out which I wrote about in an earlier post. There were a couple of times that if I had changed the course of events slightly then it could have brought about a completely different outcome. I can't say that the end result would not have been the same...hence the butterfly effect...but I do harbor a little regret in my decisions.

While everything does happen for a reason, I constantly question how much "free will" plays a part in the decision-making process. There are so many things in life in which a person can stop, and choose to head in another direction. I just wish I had that choice now, another avenue to try, instead of the slide I am on where there is no other direction to go.

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