Friday, January 11, 2008

Unexpected rewards

There are many people that feel blessed every day just because they were able to see the sun rise. Unfortunately, I have never been one of those people. I tend to get caught up in life, and sometimes forget its pure simplicity, and the beauty it brings. I logged on to write a post that was sparked by a "Charmed" episode I just watched while working out. It dealt with selfishness (can you believe that M. C.) and the thin line between not losing oneself and actually being selfish. I planned on writing about my own feelings of selfishness, and my constant battle to be fair, but not sacrifice myself in the process.

I decided to check my email before writing the post, and I received one from the client I had in August. We had lost touch, and I had sent her an email to reconnect and check on her. Her birth was a hard one, and not one aspect of her birth went the way she had envisioned. Throughout my doula training, they always told us that we were "the keepers of the birth memories". I really took that to heart, and tried to write birth stories for each of my clients that reflected only the wonderful aspects of their labor and birth. I never really knew whether or not I had succeeded in that goal until I read this part of her email:
"Oh yeah, I did get the birth story and it was absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for capturing those moments because they were all a blurrr to me. "

I immediately started crying, even from those few words. I have always felt amazing attending births and supporting mothers and fathers in this way. That is rewarding in and of itself. But, just like connecting with the child that you have been trying to reach, this was the confirmation that my heart needed. So, for as selfish as I may feel at times, I do know that some of what I do is solely for the love of others, and for that I am blessed.

No comments: