Friday, October 24, 2008


The word "trust" is a five letter word that holds so much significance and meaning. Sometimes it is used not from the heart, but rather as a word people need to hear. The Webster dictionary definition of trust states that it is "reliance on the integrity, ability, etc., of a person or thing. A confident expectation; hope". The words that struck me in that definition are "integrity" and "confident".

Trust was a big issue with me in the past because I could never really trust anyone. If it were a guy I was dating, I either didn't trust him to remain faithful or I did not trust him with my heart. I remember talking to my mom many years ago about jealousy and trust, and she told me that it just has to be. In my young mind I could not understand how it could "just be". I felt that trust was ever evolving, adapting, and changing with time. Trust with me was so difficult to gain, and so easy to lose.

Alas, my mom's wisdom has overcome. You can not be with someone without trust. I am no relationship expert, but after a slew of bad relationships and a failed marriage, I am bound to gain an amount of my own wisdom along the way. I trust Justin with everything. I know this is the first time I have ever honestly said that, and meant it. Many times I have said "I trust you," and I wasn't lying to them, but rather lying to myself. I have learned that things will either happen or not happen, and it is not within your control. An outsider can not force things to not occur.

I am so much happier now, because I have finally "let go." I am confident about the integrity of the person I am with, and that has made all the difference.

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