The Chemistry of Anger

I am generally a very submissive person. I encompass a range of emotions, but one rarely ever surfaces, and that one is anger. Throughout my childhood, I had a father who could be very explosive. Sometimes you could predict when he would lose his temper, while other times it seemed to come out of the blue for very insignificant reasons. I spent many years walking on eggshells trying not to unleash the firestorm. As I got older, I gained a lot of experience dealing with other people's anger. Through the restaurant business, customer service at Kohls, and while teaching, one learns how to manage and diffuse situations. None of these situations really muddled my heart like those years with my father. He is a different man now, and does not have the same temper he once had. It could be attributed to him getting older, or the fact that I have been out of the house. :)

There was one point in my life when I felt like I was turning into him. I would anger very easily, and say things that I didn't mean. Once I recognized where I was heading, I did a 180, and headed in the other direction. I am now probably too submissive, and not assertive. Although I would like to have some of those characteristics, I would never want to be unable to control my temper. As many things in ones past influences the future, my attitude towards someone having a temper is no different, especially when they are close to me. I find myself backing off, and freezing up when confronted in a hostile manner. Most of the time it really isn't a big deal, but because of my past I just don't handle it well. As I approach people with patience I truly expect the same in return...even though all people are different. I am not the type of person that would ever do anything intentionally to hurt another person, and I would think that anyone that knows me would take that to heart under all circumstances.

I am who I am, and that goes for others as well. We all deal with situations in different ways, and I would never fault someone for dealing with something in a different way. I just know that my sensitive, yet strong heart, needs to be handled delicately.