I feel...

like I have the walls of Jericho...

Embracing the White Flag

It was in that moment,

when the crickets mingle with

the night

that her feelings were revealed.

To her heart alone,

the quiet stillness

in turn

spoke.

She listened,

as the sweet music

grew louder...

She no longer could ignore,

the naked state

her heart lies in,

so vulnerable and exposed.

Realizing her protective guards have left,

she reluctantly surrenders.

Love this Quote...

One of the challenges I face as a teacher is dealing with prejudice among my students. They come to school filled with the "knowledge" their parents/siblings have imbedded in them. One of my greatest joys is teaching them otherwise...

"Prejudices, it is well known,

are most difficult to eradicate from the heart

whose soil has never been loosened

or fertilized by education;

they grow there, firm as weeds among stones".

-Charlotte Bronte

The Magic of Weddings

I was in my first wedding as a bridesmaid this weekend, and while stressful, was so much fun! I was lucky enough to have a wonderful friend getting married, amazing bridesmaids to enjoy the festivities with, and the best date ever. :) I have to admit it...I am a sucker for weddings. Not in the "every little girl dreams of weddings" way, but because it is magical. In the crowd, married couples reminiscence about their special day or share a tear when "their" song is played. People smile much more, laugh, hold hands, and let loose. Weddings are warm, and a celebration of the most powerful emotion...love.

My friend had much turmoil leading up to her wedding, so much that I worried the wedding may never take place. My heart went out to her with so much faith that everything would align in the right way for her. I must admit, I had my reservations...but in that moment when she walked down the aisle and I saw her soon-to-be husband's face, I melted. You could feel the love radiating from the two of them.

My friend Pache is an incredible "feeler" and always seems to know the pure emotional nature of people and situations. She attended my wedding, and later...after the separation admitted to me that something was missing from my wedding. In abbreviation, she explained that the "love" could not be felt and I have to agree.

As a follower of love, I picture my next wedding to be very different. I know that it will be intimate and loving and everyone in attendance will feel it. People will share in the happy aura that can not be avoided, and the magic will begin.

So this is how it feels...

I have written many posts about my trials and tribulations of dating. It was hard getting back into the dating scene after my separation and divorce. I felt like a fish out of water, still trying to figure out what was missing. The men that I dated were terrible...no other way to say it. Some worse than others, but each time I felt like finding that someone I could connect with would be impossible.

I had pretty much sworn off dating when I received an email from a past doula client with a subject line reading "I want to introduce the two of you". The email said, "I just had the 2 of U, POP in my head @ the same time, while I was dosin' off just now ! PLEASE give the other a few e-mail's back & forth @ least !"

I had never been fixed up before, so I was pretty hesitant. But, since I had never been fixed up, I thought I would give it a shot. I was pretty surprised...actually, really surprised. Our first date was on a Sunday, I thought it would be a dinner thing and that would be it...but we ended up playing pool until the place closed. The conversation was incredible, and I felt those butterflies that I thought had disappeared. We have been dating ever since...

While this is a new relationship with so much more to learn about each other, I feel like I have already been taught many things. I now know what was missing...missing from my marriage, and my subsequent dating experiences. Being with him has made me realize what I should have been looking for the entire time. There are aspects of our relationship such as open and honest communication, respect, understanding, and trust that (upon pondering) were absent in my past relationships entirely. So now I know how it feels...when the "walls" come down.

Ironically, my client's new beginning also led to my own.

The Celebration of an Introvert

While I know that I am an introvert, and appreciate that aspect of my personality, I have always been a little envious of extroverts. I appreciate their ability to strike up conversation with anyone, anywhere, and at anytime. It actually amazes me...But, I recently read an entry on a birth blog about a book called "The Introvert Advantage". While I do not have the book, I did some research for articles that may summarize the information..here is part of one of the summaries I found...

"Granted, extroverts are in the majority, but sixty percent of the intellectually gifted, including Albert Einstein and Bill Gates, are introverts. A society run by introverts wouldn't be such a bad place: it would probably have shorter workdays, more emphasis on contemplation, less interpersonal conflict, greater scientific advancement, and leaders who actually reflect upon the long-term effects of their decisions before they make them".

Hmmm...sounds pretty darn good to me! So today, I am going to do a little introvert celebrating! :)

Under the Surface

I went on a wine tour this past weekend to celebrate a friend's birthday. During the picnic lunch there was small talk conversation as to how everyone else knows the birthday girl. I said that I teach with her, and then one woman said, "I am a teacher too,"...so we started chatting. She immediately began talking about how much she wants to leave her school, and how tired she is of teaching "those" type of children. Then she remarked how my school is also a low income school and questioned my take. I told her that I love teaching "those" type of children. She commented back that I "must not be one of those people that lets it get to me". Official end of the conversation...

I thought back to everything in the past six years...how many times I have cried, how my heart swells at their words spoken, and how much I miss them even just after a weekend. I know I am not one of those people where things don't "get to me". Those of you who read my posts know the many entries I have posted about teaching. I also began analyzing what the differences in us as teachers could be where one would love it, and one would hate it. We both got into the teaching profession because we love teaching but, there is truly a difference in the teachers who teach at low income schools and those that do not. My idea? I think it is because the teachers that do know they are helping the children more by being there than by not. Sure it breaks our hearts on a consistent basis, but sometimes we are the only bright spots in a child's day.

If you were to step into the teacher's lounge during lunch with my teammates you would overhear us talking about our students, parents, and sometimes administration. I must admit, if I were an outsider I would question whether we liked teaching at all from our conversation. But there is a hidden understanding there. Teachers who teach in low income schools, especially for over three years, understand what each other is feeling even if the spoken words are not matching. We all care for them so much that by mini-venting, and joking we are able to alleviate some of that stress. Most conversations turn into light-hearted discussions, and that is our refuel for the rest of the day.

In my very biased but accurate opinion...I think some of the best teachers can be found in low income schools...