Saturday, June 30, 2007

The knowledge of the young...

I am always amazed and impressed with the wisdom of children. I think I have been grounded more by one sentence a child has told me, than by many hours of adult conversation.

This is one of my favorite poems, Taken from Ten-Second Rainshowers: Poems by Young People compiled by: Sandford Lyne illustrated by: Virginia Halstead

That Cute Boy

That cute boy is driving me crazy,

he is so cute. He is the kind of boy

that a girl would like to worry about.

So what I'll do is just look at him

until he thinks I am full of beauty.

-Emily Miller

Grade 3

Thursday, June 21, 2007

More deep thoughts...

I wrote this last night while sitting in bed, although I am already following my plan of a more active day, I felt I needed to publish this...

When Robert Frost wrote:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference."

I always thought that I had taken the road less traveled as well. I stood for what I believed in, never went with something just because it was popular, and most certainly did not use my creative outlets in a conservative, rigid, or expected pattern. But, with so many things, I was wrong. I have been following the worn, and frequently traveled path and that has made all the difference (not positively). I followed what was expected of me in my personal life, academically, and professionally. Maybe my inner confidence is still masked by my insecurities about life's decisions. I often wonder what my life would have been like had I chosen the less traveled paths. What if I had taken more risks, and chose to just live, instead of cautiously abiding by what is "safe". Every now and then I would dip my toe in the sea of the unknown, only to pull it back out because the water was too cold, and lonely.

Maybe my new found strength and interdependence should be my catalyst for change. Maybe this year will be the year I travel on that rocky and overgrown path, and not look back with regret. Maybe now is the time for me to not question all my decisions, and just follow my heart. Maybe I finally found my inner compass to guide me.

Robert Frost must have lived vicariously and strong. He must have grabbed life by the horns, and danced. Maybe he wrote "The Road Not Taken" when he finally discovered is own inner truths, as with me.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Be Careful What I Wish For...

Its 9:45 on a Wednesday night, and I don't know what to do. It takes me a little while to get used to the summer schedule. Its not as tough when I start teaching summer school, but now I am not sure what to do with myself. I usually do not have this much free time during the school year, because I move from one thing to another. Now, here I am filling my extra time with deep thoughts...

I love having deep conversations with friends and family, and even enjoy the time I spend lost in my own creative thoughts. But, there always comes a time for me when those creative thoughts turn to me over analyzing them. I am always my own worst critic, and when I am busy...I just worry about getting sleep. But, now with all this free time I begin to worry, and doubt myself. I do not remember that famous person who shares my thoughts, nor do I remember his exact words...but I know he expressed the danger of idle minds wandering.

So, tomorrow I will not spend my day glued to the computer getting way too far ahead in my school work, nor will I run around the house trying to clean when I'm NOT into it. I will venture out on a long walk in the park. Nothing is a better cure for me than the great outdoors! Hopefully it will not lead to more time being spent in my own head, because frankly...I need a vacation from it! :)

As excited as I was for this year to end, I am regretting what I wished for. All my friends and family are working normal hours, and here I am wanting to hang out on a week night, with nobody to hang out with! Well, I guess that's the way things go...the grass is never greener.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Visual description of previous post :)

Good day at school...

Where I mentally go on bad days...

Blue Ridge Parkway




Cancun, Mexico

I think I used all of them this year! :)

Freedom of summer...

I finally made it to the end of the school year! There were many times when this was questionable. I remember the last day of school my first year of teaching...I cried as I waved to the kids leaving on the bus. Oh have those times changed... I am not sure if it is because of my VERY difficult class this year, or because I have changed. I can go on for hours discussing everything that is missing from education these days, as well as, the plethora of problems. I am planning on doing a research project for my master's degree on behavior in schools, and the possibility that it stems from the imperfect NCLB (No Child Left Behind). Maybe that will shed light on my ever growing mystery...

Monday, June 4, 2007

Too many red dots...

I sat at my desk filling out placement cards for my students for the next school year. I am expected to put a red dot on each card where the student poses a behavior issue. I began separating them into two piles, those who need red dots, and those who do not. I was amazed...I had seven! At that point, I took a deep breath, and tried analyzing them again. I didn't want to label so many kids as "red dots" but, I could not send any of them on without one. These are the times when a teacher truly feels frustrated with themselves, the parents, the students, etc. Seven is just too many...

Friday, June 1, 2007

What happened?

There are those times in your life when a course of events happens that is somewhat beyond your control. When one thing happens after the other in a rigid snowball effect. I recently had one of those times. I am still trying to fit together the pieces of the puzzle. I am not one to think something happened when it did not, nor am I one to blow things out of proportion. I keep searching for an answer either way.